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Martin dropped me at the house, while he went into the next largest town with a WalMart. There he shopped from a list we worked out the night before. Mostly it was stuff like blankets, those big thick airbeds, folding chairs and a card table finished the furniture options. There were cheap dishes and kitchen knives that kind of stuff as well."If we stay more than a week, this is going to be a miserable vacation honey," I said to Martin when he returned at almost noon. "What took you so long?" I asked."I asked a few questions the next town over. Hayseed has a really bad reputation around here. I told them I was thinking about opening a restaurant here and everybody I talked to said, "Don't." Wonder why they feel that way?" I asked. Of course I knew why. If the Atwood brothers were any indication of how the rest of the town worked, it was like Dodge City in the 1800's. It might be different crimes for different times, but it seemed to be wide open real estate."Beats me, I doubt we are. ”Me: “Okay. Yeah, I understand.”Her: “And distance, as well.”Me: “Fine. But can I ask you one last question?”Her: “Go ahead.”Me: “What are you calculating the velocity of, anyway?”A man goes to a costume party wearing nothing but his underwear and a woman on his back.His friends see him and ask “Hey man, what are you supposed to be?”He replies “Oh, I’m dressed as a turtle”His friend responds “A turtle? How are you supposed to be a turtle? And who is that woman on your back?”The man replies “Oh, that’s Michelle” –Thank Phoenix for the following.‎ Three men were travelling in Europe and happened to meet at a bar in London, England. One man was from the US, one from France and one from Canada. They got acquainted and started talking about their problems with their wives.The American began by saying: “I told my wife in no uncertain terms that from now on she would have to do all the cooking. Well the first day after I told her, I saw nothing. The second day I saw nothing. But on the third.
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